Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
by CasusFere
Summary: human!AU. Forced to land on an uninhabited world, the Decepticons and the Autobots must work together to get one of the ships back in the air. Slash, Decepticons manipulating people, and somehow Skorpy ended up a dog.
1. Desperate Times

Alright, this one requires a bit of explanation. I've been getting chewed on by a human!transformers plotbunny… rabid little monster. So here we go, one AU coming right up… They still have the movie forms, but now it's powered armor. :P And somehow, Skorponok became a dog. I blame lionaskycat and the scribblecons!

x-x-x

"Pull up!"

"Don't you think I'm trying?!"

"Try harder!"

"Do you want to fly this crate?!"

"I don't wanna die!"

Small avians took off, squawking in terror as a burning shape plummeted out of the sky. It hit with a reverberating _**whump**_, sending showers of dirt and foliage into the air.

The forest was silent for a long moment.

"Whose idea was it to let Jazz drive?!"

x-x-x

"Lord Megatron! The Autobots have fallen!"

"I can _see _that, Starscream! Barricade, status."

"The first shot damaged our engines, Lord Megatron. We do not have enough thrust to escape the gravitational field." The pilot's voice was matter-of-fact.

"Can you land safely?"

"Relatively, Lord Megatron."

"Do it. Starscream and I will provide cover."

Blackout's voice came over the comm.. "It's awful nice of the Autobots to volunteer to be spare parts, isn't it?"

"Indeed. Megatron out."

x-x-x

Barricade met the Lord Commander at the _Nemesis_' entrance ramp. "The power grid is unsalvageable, my lord. We'll need to replace both interfaces before attempting take off. The Autobot engine should be sufficiently compatible with some alterations to get us back to civilization. We've also lost enough plating to compromise the hull, causing the heat from reentry to fry our long-range communications. Flight controls were also damaged, but we should be able to re-route or replace the wiring."

"How long until the Nemesis is space worthy?" Megatron dropped out of his mech and started up the ramp.

"Best case, two weeks. Perhaps longer, depending on how extensive the damage to the Autobot ship was."

Megatron growled in annoyance. He stalked past the pilot and into the hold. "Blackout!"

"My lord?" Blackout ducked under the nose of his chopper. His dog trailed behind, tongue lolling out.

"Get airborne. Find the Autobot ship and determine status of survivors," Megatron ordered.

"Yes, my lord. Come on, Skorpy. Let's go find us some Autotrash."

x-x-x

"Coming up on the crash site… oh, yeah, they hit hard. It's one hell of a hole. Transmitting imagery now."

"Image reception confirmed. Life signs?" Barricade eyed the mutilated ship on the screen, mentally calculating how much could be salvaged for parts.

"Not yet – Aw, slag… Taking fire…" The image on the monitor spun crazily as blackout evaded weapons fire arcing from the mangled husk. "I think it's safe to say they noticed me. I've got a visual on Prime and the psychopath with all the guns."

x-x-x

"Damn him!" Ironhide beat the fist of his powered armor against the bulkhead. "The bastard's still up there, hoverin' just outta reach. Slaggin' vulture!"

"Easy, Ironhide. Ratchet, can we get flying again?"

"That's a negative. She's scrapped, Prime. No flight controls, no comm, nothing."

"Let's hope Jazz and Bumblebee have good news, then."

"That depends on how you define 'good,' Optimus," Jazz's voice crackled over the comm.. "We've got visual on the _Nemesis_, and it's banged up pretty good. My guess is they had to land for repairs… but she still looks a damn sight better than our boat."

"And let me guess, they mean to use us for parts," Ironhide growled.

"Looks like," Jazz agreed.

"That is good news," Optimus said thoughtfully.

"Huh?"

"If they need parts, they won't risk combat near the ships. That gives us a bargaining position."

"Bargain?!"

"Yes, Ironhide. If any of us want to leave this planet, we'll all have to work together. All of us, Ironhide."

Ironhide just grumbled.

x-x-x

"Lord Megatron, we are receiving a t-t-transmission. It-t's Optimus Prime."

"If you want to lecture me about the inner goodness of mankind again, I'm a bit busy, Prime."

"Not today, brother. I propose a truce –"

Megatron laughed. "And why would I consider such a thing?"

"You need parts. I have them. I need a ship, and you have one. It's in both our interests to work together, and you know it."

"Well, I was thinking of shooting you and taking what I need. That interests me a great deal."

"And I will destroy this ship myself before I allow that to happen."

Megatron leaned back in his command chair. "Very well. A truce- you help repair the Nemesis, and we'll drop you off on the first colony we come to."

"Agreed. Send Blackout down with what you need, and we'll get started. Optimus out."

"Barricade, make a note to plot a course from here so that the first colony we come to is somewhere highly unpleasant."

x-x-x

Blackout hadn't been happy about letting an Autobot in a heavily-armed power suit in his hold, but grudgingly obeyed Megatron's orders, ferrying Ironhide and the interfaces to the Nemesis. The two smallest Autobots were waiting for them in the clearing. Blackout recognized Jazz immediately from past encounters, but the bright yellow mech beside him…

_He's new,_ Blackout thought to himself as the yellow one instinctively raised an arm to shield his eyes from the debris Blackout kicked up on landing. _Very new._

He waited for the trigger-happy lunatic in back to unload before unbuckling Skorponok from the co-pilot's chair. The pit bull dropped to the deck, growling.

x-x-x

Bumblebee trotted up the chopper's tail ramp.

"Watch out for the damn dog," Ironhide called out after him. Bee just waved back, looking around the dimly-lit helicopter with interest.

Hearing a deep growl behind him, he spun around in time to see a massive shape with sharp teeth lunge for him.

Bee fell back on his rear with an undignified startled squeak, heart racing. The shape resolved itself into a tall man holding on to a muscular dog. The man flashed him a grin.

"Hush, Skorpy, it's okay…" The man calmed the dog down, giving it a pat on the head.

Bee sat up, feeling embarrassed and sheepish. "Er, hi? I-" Bee broke off as the dog lunged again, landing heavily on his chest. "MRPH!" IT took him a moment to realize that he was not, in fact, being eaten.

"… Okay, he just tried to eat me, and now he's licking my face. Is that normal?" Bee asked faintly as Skorponok slurped his ear.

"For him? Yeah." Blackout shoved the dog off, holding out a hand to help Bumblebee up. "I'm Blackout, and this is my faithful alarms system, Skorponok."

"Bumblebee." He eyed the grinning dog. "So he only acts ferocious?"

"Oh, no, he really was going to eat you." With that less-than-comforting response, Blackout moved off to close up the chopper. "So I take it you're my tag-a-long for the duration? Make sure I'm not plotting anything dastardly?"

Bee blushed. "Er…" Was he really that transparent?

The chopper pilot laughed. "Relax. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

x-x-x

"_Damn,_ he's cute," Blackout told Barricade later, seating himself on a consol. "I can't believe they're just _handing_ him to me like this," he continued happily.

"Where is your new toy?"

"Went to the head. Yours?"

"Hasn't shown yet. Just remember your end of the deal, Blackout."

"Of course. I'm going to _enjoy_ breaking this one."


	2. Desperate Measures

"I don't see what the problem is!" Bee glared around at the other two. They had been working on the Nemesis for almost a week, and the tensions between the two factions were growing.

"They're Decepticons, and you seem to have forgotten that!"

"His faction doesn't make him any less human, Ironhide!"

"Yes it does! It makes him an evil bastard!"

Jazz broke in before the shouting argument could escalate. "Bumblebee, we're just concerned for your safety. You can't forget that we are at war, and he is the enemy."

"He's my friend, Jazz."

"He looked a lot closer than 'your friend' earlier."

"Ironhide!" Jazz hissed. "Stop it!"

"And what's it to you, anyway?" Bee shot back.

"It's fraternizing with the enemy!"

"Ironhide, calm down-"

"We weren't fraternizing," Bee growled over Jazz. "And it's none of your business, anyway."

"Bee-" Jazz started.

"No! I don't care. I'm not going to listen to this crap!" Bumblebee stalked out, leaving the frustrated Ironhide to stew.

Jazz looked pained. "Well, that went well."

x-x-x

Barricade glanced up as Jazz dragged himself back onto the Nemesis' bridge. "You look like crap," he observed bluntly.

Jazz sighed. "Team melodrama. You know how it is." He thought of the Decepticon force. "Or maybe you don't. I can't really see Brawl getting a crush."

"You'd be surprised," Barricade told him dryly. He paused. "It's really none of my business, but…" his voice was hesitant. "This was about Blackout, wasn't it?"

Jazz's eyes narrowed.

Barricade went on after a moment, looking faintly uncomfortable. "He's… Blackout's not the sort of guy you want around the kid," he said finally.

"I'm surprised you care." The opinion was one Jazz had been harboring himself, but he was suspicious of Barricade's motives.

The pilot looked rueful. "I do have some twinges of conscience, you know. Few and far between, but they are there."

x-x-x

Bee stalked out of the Nemesis and into the cool night air, heading for the looming helicopter at the edge of the clearing. A deep bark greeted his approach.

"Hi, Skorponok," he called, stopping.

Skorponok growled from the shadows under the helicopter.

"Bee? That you?" A sleepy voice called out.

"Yeah, it's me. Blackout, your dog is going to eat me."

"Come on in. Let him by, Skorpy." Blackout was leaning in the open doorway, clad only in a pair of fatigue pants. Bee paused, smiling up at him. "Well?"

"Just admiring the view," Bee responded with a mischievous smirk. He had been – the moonlight highlighting the myriad of long braids splayed over muscular shoulders, just brushing the well-defined abs – Bee bit his lip.

The chopper pilot laughed, offering a hand up. "What brings you out here at this hour?" Blackout asked once Bee climbed inside.

Bee scowled. "Nothing," he grumbled.

"Get in an argument, did you?" Blackout grinned at Bee's startled look. "You're scowling. You never scowl."

Bumblebee hesitated a moment, then gave in and poured the whole story out. Blackout listened with a sympathetic expression on his face, and sadistic glee inside.

"-And it was their idea to begin with! So I'm not a blind fanatic that hates everyone! That's supposed to be a good thing, but they're making like it's treason-"

"Bee."

"I mean, is it really any of their business who I associate with in my spare time-"

"Bee-ee…"

"It's not like it's effecting my duties…"

Blackout sighed. Desperate times, desperate measures…

"Not that they actually give me anything important. I'm getting really sick of being treated like a – " Bee cut off as Blackout caught him in strong arms, pulling him close and kissing him.

Startled, Bee stiffened, too surprised to react. Blackout took advantage of his position to deepen the kiss. Bee slowly relaxed, leaning into the older man and trying not to melt on the spot.

_**Damn**__, he's good at this…_

x-x-x

Bee woke in confusion, in an unfamiliar bed. He slowly became aware of something warm next to him, soft breathing – and something furry on his leg?

Bee grinned to himself as memories of the night before rushed back. He snuggled into a warm shoulder, draping an arm across a smooth, muscular stomach.

"Mornin'," Blackout's voice was rough with sleep, sending a thrill through Bee's spine. He pulled Bee closer, smiling down at him and rubbing a calloused hand across the young Autobot's back.

"I really should get up," Bee mumbled.

"Probably," Blackout agreed, tilting Bee's face up so he could kiss him.

"Mmm… if you keep that up, I'm never going to move…"

"…Good."

Then later:

"Blackout, your dog is cutting off circulation to my foot."

"Skorponok?! What are you doing in here?!"

"Woof?"


	3. Turnabout

A/N- My pencil got bored, so I doodled some sketchies. go to casusfere(dot)livejournal(dot)com for my master list of TF fanfics and doodlies. The livejournal version of this fic has sketchies with each chapter 'cept the second, and some extras listed below.

x-xxx-x0

"Prime, you _have_ to talk to him. The pig-headed little brat won't listen to anyone else!" Ironhide was pacing Prime's temporary quarters.

Optimus sighed. "What would you have me say?" he asked tiredly.

"Putting them together was you and Jazz's half-wit idea in the first place." Ratchet reminded Ironhide.

"I know!" Ironhide growled. "It _was_ a mistake, but we didn't expect him to go _sleep_ with the bastard!"

Jazz sighed. "Bee's never met anyone like Blackout. We, however, should have seen this coming. We know how manipulative he can be. Bee-" Jazz hesitated. "Bee's a good soldier, but he's young and inexperienced. And Blackout's charming, handsome, and dangerously intelligent."

"And he's an evil bastard," Ironhide put in.

"Ratchet and I will try to talk to Bumblebee. In the meantime, have you found any sign of what the Decepticons are planning?"

"Not really," Ironhide admitted. "Brawl doesn't even talk to the other Decepticons, except for the occasional exchange with Bonecrusher."

"And Bonecrusher's even less social than Brawl," Ratchet added. "He seems," Ratchet continued with an amused look, "To communicate largely in obscenities."

"Expandin' your vocabulary, Ratch?" Jazz grinned.

Ratchet smirked back. "I'm keeping a list."

Jazz turned back to Optimus, becoming serious again. "I'm sure something's up. Barricade's being careful, though, and I haven't been able to find out what. Whatever's going on, he's in on it."

"It's not in Megatron's – or Starscream's – nature to let this sort of opportunity pass. Keep on him, Jazz. I don't want blindsided again; not with us in such a precarious position."

"I'm on it, Prime."

Ratchet gave Jazz a sideways look as they left Prime's quarters. "You're planning something of dubious morality again, aren't you? You've got that look on your face."

Jazz gave him an innocent look and adjusted his sunglasses. "Who, me? I'm just doing my duty to the Autobot cause."

"I'm sure. Be careful, alright?" Ratchet said quietly. "I don't want to have to patch your ass back together."

"Your concern is overwhelming as always," Jazz laughed.

"Isn't it, though?"

x-x-x

"Bumblebee. A word?"

Bee looked up at Optimus with a twinge of foreboding. He'd been expecting his commander to continue Ironhide and Jazz's lecture all day.

"I'll meet up with you later," Bee whispered to Blackout.

The chopper pilot nodded. "I'll be off avoiding Bonecrusher. Just come find me when you're done." Blackout walked past the Autobots into the Nemesis' cargo bay, stuffing the stick he'd been throwing for Skorponok in Brawl's tank treads as he passed. His dog bounded along beside him.

Bee tried to judge his commander's mood. Despite the graying hair, Optimus Prime was still an imposing figure, and Bee was feeling more than a bit nervous.

"You didn't come back to the Nemesis last night," Optimus rumbled.

Bee scuffed his toe. "…No."

Optimus sighed. "Bumblebee, normally I have the utmost respect for your judgment. But in this case-"

"I'm just doing what Jazz and Ironhide told me to!" Bee broke in, his tone defiant.

"They told you to sleep with a Decepticon?" Optimus asked with disapproval.

Bee bristled. "Just because I'm not glaring hatefully at his back every two seconds like Ironhide does, 'Hide assumes I'm sleeping with him!"

"Are you?" Optimus was blunt.

Bee shrank back, looking uncomfortable.

"I see."

"I _am_ keeping a close watch on him. Close enough that I can say with certainty that the only plot he's engaged in is one to do as little actual work repairing the Nemesis as he can." Bee paused. "Optimus, I see a chance to sway him to the Autobot side. He's obviously dissatisfied with the Decepticon cause. It's a chance to remove a weapon from Megatron, and gain ourselves a powerful ally. Aren't you always preaching the preservation of all life? Rehabilitation, rather than retaliation?"

"And here I though you slept through my speeches," Optimus said with humor. He sighed. "Very well, but be careful, Bumblebee. Try not to forget what he's capable of. I don't want to see you hurt."

_He's capable of more than you give him credit for – kindness, love…_ "I won't."

x-x-x

Jazz knew he should be disgusted by what he was planning. He stood just inside the bridge, watching Barricade work. The pilot was bent over a consol, frowning slightly. Barricade ran a hand through his dark hair in an unconscious gesture of frustration.

Jazz smiled. Something in Barricade's fluid, graceful movements and cool logic reminded him of Prowl. His Prowl, so unrelentingly logical, surprisingly shy and startlingly sweet… Dark red hair and a knowing little half smile… Jazz closed his eyes and swallowed, guilt washing over him.

He was doing this for a reason, Jazz reminded himself. He'd done far worse things for his faction. Prowl would understand. He always did.

Pasting a cheerful smile on his face, Jazz stepped further into the bridge. "How's the repairs coming?"

"Slowly," muttered Barricade. He didn't elaborate.

Jazz flopped in the chair next to the pilot, one leg hooked over the chair arm. He noted Barricade's appreciative lingering look with satisfaction.

This was going to be easier than he thought.

x-x-x

Barricade was having trouble keeping his own smirk off his face. The Autobots had swept Prime's quarters for listening devices before their little chat, but Frenzy was very, _very_ good at his job. Intrusion and communication were his duel specialties, and there were few who could even come close to the hacker's skill level.

Barricade's specialty, on the other hand, was lying. Falsehood came to him as easily as breathing. An honest creature by nature, Jazz's training had no chance against a lifetime of deceit and treachery. Blackout loved corruption; Barricade lived for that one expression of ultimate pain and betrayal.

So the Autobots wanted information. Barricade intended to find out just how far Jazz was willing to go to get it.

x-xxxx-x


	4. Is Fair Play

Primus, it wasn't supposed to feel this good. Jazz let his eyes slide shut, pulling Barricade closer. He really shouldn't be enjoying this, but he was. The feel of Barricade's lips on his own, the calloused hand in his hair, the way Barricade's other hand traveled down his back, Barricade's feral moan as Jazz deepened the kiss...

Jazz pulled away suddenly. He smirked at Barricade's growl and the lust filling his eyes. "Later. We both have work to do-"

"Slag that," Barricade muttered, pulling Jazz up. Jazz shoved him away again.

"Go do your tests. I'll see you afterwards."

The Decepticon leaned forward to nuzzle Jazz's neck, warm breath tickling his collar. "My quarters, after your shift. We won't be interrupted."

_Good,_ Jazz thought to Barricade's back as he walked away.

x-x-x

"Getting awful c-cuddly, Barric-c-cade?" Frenzy asked snidely, not looking up from his station.

"Mind your own business." Barricade flopped in the pilot's chair.

"Oh, somebody sounds _frustrated._" The thin young man gave Barricade a decidedly sharp-toothed grin.

Barricade ignored him, flipping a few switches. "Is Blackout done rewiring the stabilizers?"

Frenzy just sniggered

Barricade made a vexed noise, starting up the diagnostic programs.

Frenzy smirked at him. "Frustrated and j-jealous, eh?"

"Oh, shove it."

x-x-x

Strong arms wrapped around Bee's middle. He leaned back against Blackout, letting his head rest on his lover's chest. He smiled to himself. _My lover. Mine. Primus, Blackout, I love you so much... I know you feel the same way, even if it's hard for you to say._ He closed his eyes, feeling Blackout's mouth on his neck.

"Blackout, stop for a moment," he murmured.

The chopper pilot paused. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." Bee twisted around to face Blackout. "We need to talk.

Blackout gave him a rueful smile. "Conversations that start with those words are never good."

"Hush, you." Bee smacked him playfully on the chest. "Seriously, we need to talk." He looked up into Blackout's dark eyes. "I want you to come with us, to join the Auto-"

Blackout's hand clamped over Bee's mouth. He gave a nervous glance around the room, then dragged Bee down the entrance ramp and outside. He just shook his head when Bee opened his mouth to ask where they were going.

They stopped under the trees. "You can't say things like that." Blackout's voice was a strained whisper.

"I'm serious, Blackout. You hate them!"

He touched Bee's face gently. "You can't say things like that, Bee," he repeated, quieter. "If anyone overheard, they'd kill us both." Blackout looked away, shoulders slumped. "And I don't want to see you hurt."

Bee's expression softened. "Don't worry about me. I know it's a risk, but things will be better once we get you away from them. I promise."

Head down, Blackout was silent for a long moment. "Alright," he murmured finally. "I'll try."

Bee wrapped his arms back around his lover and pulled Blackout closer, smiling up at him.

x-x-x

"Much more of this sickeningly sweet lovey crap and I swear I'm going to snap," Blackout growled.

Megatron didn't bother looking up from his dinner. "It was your idea to begin with," he pointed out calmly.

"I know," Blackout grumbled, dropping into his chair. "But as pretty as that sweet little thing is, I can't wait until we can dump them all out an airlock. Or better yet, shove them out the cargo bay doors at twenty-thousand feet. Wheeee... splat."

His commander smirked into his drink. "I promised Prime a truce until we reached the colony, and we will keep to that promise. No matter how entertaining the alternative is."

"Technically, we'd be in atmosphere," Blackout pointed out with a grin. "So we'd be sorta at the colony, in a general manner of speaking. And we could even dump them directly over the colony itself, just as an added courtesy. They'd even be in the town before they impacted."

Megatron looked thoughtful for a moment. "I have a better idea..."


	5. Keep Your Friends Close

Blackout smiled as he left Megatron's quarters, finding Bumblebee leaning against the bulkhead, head down and arms crossed. Bee straightened hastily, trying to look like he hadn't been lurking outside Megatron's door, waiting for him.

Dropping an arm around Bee's shoulders, Blackout guided him down the hallway.

"Is everything alright?" Bee asked worriedly, casting a significant glance back down the corridor.

"As much as it ever is," Blackout assured him quietly. "I'm not the one in trouble, anyway." He paused just outside of the control room. "Speak of the devil," he murmured. Bee looked, taking note of where Starscream was laying, head under a console, attempting to fix the wiring of the weapons station. Blackout held a finger to his lips, stepping closer quietly.

Stopping right at the fighter pilot's feet, Blackout cleared his throat. "Star_scream!_" he barked in his best imitation of Megatron.

Surprised, Starscream jerked and sat up too quickly, whacking his head against the edge of the console. He swore. "Slagging son of a-"

Blackout just laughed. "Rise and shine, princess. Megatron wants to see you in his quarters. Like, yesterday."

Starscream snarled a curse, climbing to his feet and glaring. Blackout smiled blandly back.

He waited for Starscream to stalk out before dropping with boneless grace into the pilot's chair. "Join me?" He held out his arms.

Bee hesitated for the barest second before settling into his lap. "I'm pretty sure that this isn't what they had in mind when they assigned you to watch the control room," he murmured, leaning into Blackout's embrace.

"There's nothing to see out the view port, and the alarm will sound if something goes wrong," Blackout told him, nuzzling his neck. "I just have to sit here and make sure nothing explodes." He paused, lifting his head. "Of course, if it does, there's nothing I can do about it, so there's really no use worrying. Or wasting all this wonderful alone time."

Bee laughed. "Our last night on the planet. What shall we do with it?" Bee asked in mock seriousness.

"I can think of a few things," Blackout breathed into his ear.

"I know, we can do origami!" Bee grinned mischievously. "I wanna paper crane."

"Mm... I like my idea better."

"And what was that?" Bee asked  with studied innocence.

In answer, Blackout sent them both tumbling to the floor.

x-x-x

"Ready to get off this planet?" Jazz asked, leaning against the door to Barricade's quarters.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Barricade sighed, punching into the key code. He stepped by Jazz, tugging the the Autobot into his quarters. Soon as the door slid shut behind them, Barricade pushed him up against it, hands sliding down Jazz's hips. "I think we should celebrate."

"Yes..." Jazz purred, fingers hooking in the waistband of Barricade's pants. The Decepticon let out a throaty growl, "I even brought the celebratory toast." Jazz held up a bottle.

"First thing's first," Barricade rumbled, pulling Jazz closer. "Drinks later."

"I can deal with that," Jazz laughed, grabbing the back of Barricade's neck with his free hand and kissing him hard. He deposited the bottle on the nightstand before allowing himself to be pulled to the bed.

x-x-x

_Decisions, decisions..._ Frenzy tapped his fingers thoughtfully. He was bored, he had a drone an a camera, and there were some _very_ interesting activities going on... Barricade had kicked him out of his normal spot in the pilot's quarters, and there was no question as to why . Frenzy had_ seen_ that little exchange earlier in the hallway.

He'd also seen Starscream vanish into Megatron's quarters and not come out, and he had a good idea what was taking them so long. _Yeah, they're 'discussing tactics.'_

Or there was Blackout and his little Autobot pet- and Blackout was always good for a nice show.

But then, he couldn't use the video to blackmail Barricade or Blackout; they'd probably spread the clips around themselves, just so they could gloat about it. Starscream, though...

The high-strung fighter pilot was sensitive about the accusations that he'd slept his way to his position. A copy of that video would be enough to infuriate Starscream, but fear of it getting in the wrong hands was bound to get some very interesting concessions.

The thin young man smirked. _Oh yeah, a little hot Starscream porn is on the menu tonight..._

x-x-x

Barricade's fingers trailed idly up Jazz's back. Lying there, head on Barricade's shoulder and listening to him breathe, Jazz could almost pretend that he was home, curled up in his lover's bed, and that the heartbeat under his hand was Prowl's...

_It's a nice fantasy, _Jazz thought, opening his eyes. _But it's just fantasy. Don't get attached; he's the enemy. _

Jazz rolled over, sitting up.

"Where are you going?" Barricade asked, voice low and guttural.

The sound, so different from Prowl's quiet melodic voice, was like a bucket of cold water, shattering the last remains of Jazz's fantasizing. The hand that reached for the bottle he'd left on the nightstand was steady, all hesitation gone. "Just pouring the drinks," Jazz said lightly, flashing Barricade a grin. The Decepticon was watching him carefully with narrowed eyes.

Jazz turned back to Barricade with two glasses, offering the him one and sipping the other. Barricade's eyes glittered. Then Barricade plucked the glass Jazz had drank from out of his hand and downed it.

"What, don't trust me?" Jazz teased lightly.

"No offense, but no," Barricade said calmly, sitting up and replacing the glass on the nightstand. Jazz just gave him a rueful shrug and took a swallow.

Setting the glass aside, Jazz got up, reaching for his clothes.

"Leaving already?" Barricade stood, wrapping his arms around Jazz. "I'm not finished with you," he breathed into Jazz's ear.

"As tempting as that sounds right now," Jazz told him, fastening his pants, "I rather think you won't be in any shape to follow through with it."

"What-" Barricade broke off, suddenly dizzy. He clung to Jazz for support, trying to get his bearings.

Jazz pushed him off, stepping out of reach and pulling on his shirt.

"You poisoned your own drink?" Barricade demanded, slurring slightly. He stared a Jazz in shock. For the first time, Jazz could see the glimmer of grudging respect in his eyes. "But-" He groaned, dropping to his knees as the first of the stomach pains hit.

"Actually," Jazz informed him coolly, stepping into his shoes, "I poisoned the entire bottle before I came. Then I took this wonderful little pill that counters the effect of the drug." He shrugged into his jacket. Barricade snarled, unable to straighten or do anything but glare. "Learned that trick from a compatriot of yours, back in the day."

Jazz paused to pick up Barricade's commlink and pocket it. "Don't worry, I'm told you'll pass out relatively quickly. It only feels like forever. And alas, you won't be in any shape to fly us out here tomorrow. Megatron will be so disappointed."

Barricade choked out a curse as Jazz walked out.


	6. And Your Enemies Closer

A/N- So it's only been like... almost three years since I last touched this. XP Woops.

x-x-x

It was still hours until dawn, still pitch-black outside the circle of light spilling of the Nemesis. Ratchet stood at the top of the loading ramp and looked up at the stars, cradling a cup of what the Decepticons claimed passed for coffee. He was beginning to wonder if the substance was the main force behind the faction-wide tendency towards violence and mental instability.

"If you wanna get off this Primus-damned shithole, you can go check the slaggin' stabilizers," Bonecrusher growled from behind him.

Ratchet turned to look at the big Decepticon soldier. Bonecrusher had turned out to be a surprisingly capable engineer, surly attitude and constant stream of obscenities aside. "Didn't Blackout say he finished with them yesterday?" he asked.

Bonecrusher snorted, not bothering to look up from hull plating he was running final tests on. "Free advice, dumbass. There's only three slaggin' words you can trust comin' outta that fraggin' motherless exhaust-sucker's mouth." He held up a finger. "All." He lifted his middle finger. "Hail." A third finger joined the others. "Megatron." He started to disconnect the scanner.

Ratchet watched him, the feeling of unease he'd had about the long-haired chopper pilot's "relationship" with Bumblebee growing. _We're taking off today, then we'll be going our separate ways at the first colony,_ he reminded himself._ Bee will be fine until then, won't he?_

"Barricade, where the hell are the diagnostic reports for this morning?" Bonecrusher was growling over his commlink. "Barricade! Answer me, you low-life, grease-licking bastard!" His fist slammed into the hull paneling as he threw the silent commlink back in the toolbox in disgust. "I fraggin' hate engineering!"

Ratchet decided that this would be a good time to go check the stabilizers.

x-x-x

The sun was well above the horizon by the time Blackout and Bumblebee made their appearance, Bee blushing and avoiding Ironhide's accusing glare, Blackout smugly unrepentant. Bonecrusher had managed to work himself into an even fouler temper than normal, snarling obscenities at anyone who came near him.

"Where the frag is Barricade?" Starscream demanded, glaring at Blackout and Bumblebee. Blackout just shrugged. "Frenzy!"

Frenzy folded his arms and slouched in his seat, looking for all the world like a sullen punk teenager. "How am I supposed t-t-to know?"

"You spend more time in his quarters than your own," Starscream told him disdainfully.

Frenzy's lips turned up in a sharp and unfriendly smile. "Wasn't there last night. Was c-catchin' a show. Ain't seen him."

Starscream stiffened, face flushing.

"Oh, for frag's sake." Bonecrusher flung his datapad on the ground and stomped for the door. "I'll go find him, since the rest of you don't seem to care if we ever get off this Primus-forsaken-" the door shut behind him, cutting off the rest of his rant.

Ratchet gave Jazz a questioning look, wondering if the operative had something to do with it. Jazz responded with a smile of such studied innocence that Ratchet had to snort in laughter. "Dubious morality, my ass," he muttered at Jazz.

Jazz's reply was forestalled by the arrival of Optimus and Megatron, neither looking particularly happy to be sharing a planet, much less the room. Megatron took the command chair with a smirk, daring Optimus to object.

Optimus folded his arms and leaned casually against the bulkhead, exchanging exasperated looks with Ratchet.

"Are we ready for takeoff?" Megatron asked the room in general.

"Runnin' the final checks now," Jazz answered cheerfully, dropping into Barricade's seat and flipping a switch.

"And where exactly is my pilot?" Megatron demanded.

"Dunno, but I think he mighta had somethin' last night that didn't agree with him," Jazz said lightly. "He was lookin' a might peaked when I left. Good thing you picked up an extra pilot. And just look at this nav course, takes us out in the worst possible direction for a drop off." Jazz hummed to himself as he altered the programmed course. "There, now we're headin' for somewhere more pleasant than an abandoned minin' facility. Lucky I caught it, ain't it?"

"Lucky," Megatron growled.

Blackout laughed out loud.

Bonecrusher's voice crackled over the main comm system. "Barricade ain't gonna be flyin' shit. Fragger's barely conscious."

"Prime," Megatron rumbled dangerously. "I think that poisoning my pilot isn't in line with this truce we agreed on."

"I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding," Optimus answered smoothly, raising an eyebrow in Jazz's direction. "Like our originally plotted course."

Caught, Megatron could do little except glower. "Yes, a... _misunderstanding_," he growled.

"I have every confidence this will work itself out," Optimus continued calmly. "Ratchet, if you would see to our ill friend?"

"I'll go check it out," Ratchet answered, heading for the door, happy to get out of the verbal crossfire.

x-x-x

The deep space engines made a familiar hum in the background, a subtle and comforting vibration. The Autobots had regrouped in Optimus' temporary quarters once the ship was once again airborne and locked onto course. They'd left Bumblebee on the control deck to keep an eye on the Decepticons and make sure there were no more... additions... to their navigational data.

In reality, they were less worried about Bonecrusher and Frenzy - the Decepticons manning the control deck at the moment - than they were about Bee's response to their current topic of concern.

"Megatron ain't gonna give up that easy," Ironhide said, folding his arms and perching on the edge of the desk. "He's got somethin' nasty planned, mark my words."

Jazz nodded in agreement. "He couldn't be expectin' that little stunt to work. Ain't sophisticated enough for one o' his plans, more like a fit o' petulance than anything." The spy perched on the edge of the bed.

"Even so, good work catching it, Jazz," Optimus said from the chair next to Ironhide. "That would not have been a pleasant surprise at the end of this trip." He smiled faintly. "Uncommon methods aside, of course. Speaking of, how is your patient doing, Ratchet?

Ratchet snorted. "Since Jazz was kind enough to save me the trouble of having to uncover the nature of the contaminant, he'll make an unusually rapid recovery." His expression was bland. "Now that he's finished vomiting. His opinion of Jazz, I'm sorry to say, is unlikely to recover."

"I'm sure I'll find some way to live with myself," Jazz said cheerfully. "Unfortunately, means I can't use him for info, and none of the others are likely to fall for anything of mine now, either."

"Brawl and Bonecrusher are just heavy-hitters," Ironhide put in. "They ain't gonna be part of Megatron's plannin' process."

"Barricade's going to be too ill for plotting for a while," Ratchet said thoughtfully. "Starscream's almost certainly going to know what's up, and I think there isn't much that happens onboard that Frenzy doesn't know about."

The others nodded in acknowledgement to that; it was part of the reason they were meeting now, while the Decepticon communication officer and hacker was on-duty and where Bee could keep a close eye on him.

"What about Blackout?" Ironhide growled.

"I'm not sure where he actually stands in the hierarchy," Ratchet said, frowning. "Would Megatron consult him?"

"He does spend an inordinate amount of time in Megatron's quarters," Jazz said, leaning back on his hands. "But I'm not sure how much info he'd be likely to let slip."

"I didn't mean as a source," Ironhide grumbled. "I mean as a problem. What're we gonna do about him?"

"Tactically, ain't much use worryin' about his social effect," Jazz said, apologetic. "Bee ain't gonna listen to any of us sayin' a word against him. And Blackout's got him thinkin' that he's gonna defect and come with us when we make landfall. He ain't gonna be interested in any plan suggestin' otherwise."

"We need to trust his judgement," Optimus said quietly. "He may have a better idea of Blackout's character than the rest of us. And if not," he sighed. "Sometimes we simply have to make our own mistakes."

"Still, I'd like to get a better idea o' the man myself," Jazz said. "He spends most o' his time between the cargo bay and ol' Megs' quarters, and I ain't seen him do nothin' but play with that dog and hang with Bee. What I remember of our intel on him's sketchy; ain't never been considered a big player, just always in the background."

"Can't get close to his chopper with that mutt on board, but I wouldn't mind gettin' a sneak around his quarters," Ironhide growled.

"Go ahead," Optimus said dryly, motioning around the room. "You're in them."

Ironhide and Ratchet looked around the room. Jazz smirked, unsurprised.

"Seriously?" Ironhide asked.

"Unless you know another Decepticon that keeps dog toys in his foot locker," Optimus told him, stretching out his legs. "I doubt he's ever used this room as anything other than a place to sleep and store chew toys."

"Still, it does tell us something," Jazz said thoughtfully. "We're just down the corridor from Megatron here. Brawl and Bonecrusher are both aft of the mess, Barricade mid-ship. Only other one up here is the Screamer. We were wonderin' where he was in the hierarchy, an' I think this gives us a big hint. Somewhere close to Megatron."

"Which means either he's sincere about his willingness to help us and he'll be one of the best sources of intel we've ever had," Ratchet said quietly. "Or that he's part of Megatron's plans against us, and that plan involves using Bumblebee."


	7. Spy Mission

"Hey, you, Ratchet or whatever your name is," Blackout spoke up suddenly from behind Ratchet, startling him.

Ratchet turned sharply, to find the chopper pilot looming right behind him, and took a step back in consternation. "What?" Considering that he was supposed to be standing guard while Jazz and Ironhide threaded a spy camera through the ventilation from the next room to Megatron's room on the deck above, the Decepticon's ability to approach him unawares was disconcerting.

"Come help me check the couplings," Blackout said, not giving any sign he'd noticed Ratchet's discomfort. He turned and stalked back down the gangway.

Well, it wasn't like he could protest that he was busy covering for his team mate's spying efforts. Ratchet sighed and followed Blackout.

The decking rattled under his feet, echoing in the enclosed space. "Did someone run out of maintenance budget or something?" he grumbled out loud. "Or is this some intruder-alert system?"

Blackout glanced back, braids swishing across his back. "Step on the bolts."

Ratchet attempted to follow this advice, and was gratified to find that these, at least, didn't shift under his feet, even if it did mean lengthening his stride more than was strictly comfortable, something the longer-legged pilot obviously wasn't having trouble with.

Blackout laughed, watching Ratchet out of the corner of his eye.

Ratchet scowled, giving up on the attempt and trotting to catch up with the pilot. They turned a corner into the engineering bay, stopping next to the thrumming engines. But Blackout made no move toward the couplings, and instead turned to look seriously at Ratchet.

"I thought-" Ratchet started, then fell silent as Blackout took a swift step toward him.

"No one can overhear us in here," Blackout said, pitching his voice low. "You need to tell Prime - if you're still on board when we make planetfall, you will all be dead before you see the outside of the ship."

"Why should we trust you?" Ratchet demanded, meeting Blackout's eyes squarely.

Blackout dropped his gaze, shifting a step back. "You shouldn't," he admitted quietly. "But..." he trailed off, watching the engine spin for a moment before looking back at Ratchet. "He's a good kid. And he deserves better than that, better than..." he fell silent again.

"Ah," Ratchet said, suddenly finding himself considering that maybe, just maybe, Bee had been right.

Blackout rolled his shoulders, and shook himself. "Look, just tell Prime." He brushed past Ratchet and out of the engineering room, leaving Ratchet to wonder. 

x-x-x

Megatron poured himself a drink, not bothering to turn away from the window when Blackout entered. "I trust everything is proceeding according to plan?"

Blackout grumbled something that might have been an affirmative.

"Have the devices been placed?"

"Yes, Lord Megatron. Bonecrusher is certain that they will perform as planned." Blackout smirked slightly. "If there's one thing Bonecrusher knows, it's explosives."

"And do the Autobots suspect anything?"

"I think they suspect a great deal," Blackout answered. "But they're hesitant to act without proof."

"Good. I would be disappointed if Prime wasn't looking for us to turn on him."

"Yes, Lord Megatron." Blackout's voice was less than enthusiastic.

"Do you have a problem with my orders?" Megatron asked silkily, turning his head to watch Blackout over his shoulder.

Blackout dropped his gaze immediately, bowing his head. "No, Lord Megatron."

Setting the drink aside, Megatron came to stand in front of Blackout. "I know it is difficult, Blackout, but it is necessary."

"Yes, Lord Megatron."

He laid a hand on the pilot's shoulder. "Look at me, Blackout." He waited for the dark eyes to lift. "You are the most trusted of my servants, Blackout," he continued. "But I will not tolerate disobedience." His grip tightened until the pilot flinched. "Not even from you."

"Yes, Lord Megatron," Blackout murmured, bowing his head again. "I will not fail you."

"Good," Megatron said, releasing him and picking up his glass again. "Dismissed, Blackout."

Halfway across the ship, two Autobots watched Blackout turn silently and walk out.

"Well, that was... interestin,'" Jazz commented, leaning back against the wall. "If not exactly informative. Somethin' involvin' explosives? That could be anything. A diversion? An ambush?"

Optimus waited, knowing that the intelligence officer would have more.

"Whatever old Megs has planned, it's obvious that Blackout don't like it," Jazz mused. "But that could go either way for us. 'Least it confirms what Bonecrusher told Ratch, and our own observations. He's close to Megatron." Jazz frowned. "Damn, I wish I'd paid more attention to our intel on him."

"What do you think?" Optimus asked mildly.

Jazz hesitated for a moment. "I'm still inclined to say he ain't on our side, boss. I'm pretty sure that Bonecrusher's advice was on the up-and-up, and we should make sure we got an escape route that don't depend on him."

Optimus nodded, crossing his arms and frowning thoughtfully. "I'm not sure we will have a choice," he said finally. "We're not much closer to finding out what Megatron is planning, and I'd rather not attempt a violent takeover when we're this far from assistance and outnumbered." He smiled grimly. "And the likelihood of any such battle damaging the ship beyond repair will keep Megatron from trying anything of the sort, as well."

"Which leaves trickery," Jazz agreed. "For both sides."

"Yes," Optimus said heavily. "And I think it's time that we push our new 'friend' to commit or give up the charade."

Jazz watched the image of Megatron on the screen for a moment. "If he is on the up and up - and I'm sayin' that's a fraggin' big if - he ain't gonna trust you or me."

"From what he said to Ratchet, it appears he cares a great deal more than we expected for Bumblebee," Optimus said.

"Or he's a better actor than we thought," Jazz interposed.

"Or that," Optimus agreed heavily. "But if we are going to give him the benefit of the doubt, Bumblebee has the best chance of any of us."

"Bee ain't gonna be happy with it, though." Jazz crossed his arms. "He's convinced the guy's just a victim of his circumstances. Askin' him to give Blackout an ultimatum ain't gonna sit well with him."

"He has the best chance of convincing Blackout," Optimus said. "Show him this," he waved a hand at the screen, "And even he will see that Blackout must commit fully to one side or the other. If he is genuine, it looks likely to be the only way we'll discover this plan of Megatron's. And if not-"

"We'll take care of it," Jazz said grimly.


End file.
